I recently read the New York Times #1 selling book, “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck” by Mark Manson. The book’s tagline is “a counterintuitive approach to living a good life” and it has certainly altered my perspective.

Throughout the book, I constantly found myself relating the themes to my own life and to the adversity that I faced as a former athlete.

Manson writes, “Adversity and failure are actually useful and even necessary for developing strong-minded and successful adults” and he is absolutely correct. Facing adversity in athletics from childhood and into young adulthood allows athletes to grow into confident and resilient adults. “It turns out that teaching people to believe they’re exceptional and to feel good about themselves no matter what doesn’t lead to a population full of Bill Gates and Martin Luther Kings. It leads to a population of Jimmys,” says Manson.

Manson then goes on to describe “Jimmys” as high-esteem, unsuccessful and entitled adults. “Jimmys” run throughout their lifetime believing that they are accomplishing great things when in reality they’re doing a whole lot of nothing.

In other words, it turns out that teaching athletes to believe they’re exceptional and to feel good about themselves no matter what doesn’t lead to a population of Sidney Crosbys and Brianna Deckers. It leads to a world of mediocrity. 

In the world of athletics, “Jimmys” are the kids that insist they (and their parents) know more than their coaches and nothing is ever their fault. If they wind up hurt, it’s because someone is trying to hurt them – not because they need work harder and gain more muscle. If they get benched during a game, it’s because someone is punishing them – not because they just aren’t ready for regular shifts yet. They’re the kids that don’t need to practice because they’re already good enough – they don’t need to put in the extra work outside of normal practice time because they’ve been told one hundred times over that they’re elite, when in fact, they’re not. Whether it is at work, school or in athletics, we all know a “Jimmy.”  

“Entitlement closes in upon itself in a type of bubble, distorting anything and everything in such a way as to reinforce itself. People who feel entitled view every occurrence in their life as either an affirmation of, or a threat to, their own greatness. If something good happens to them, it’s because of some amazing feat they accomplished. If something bad happens to them, it’s because somebody is jealous and trying to bring them down a notch” (Manson, 2016).  

Entitled people will break down anything and everything around them in order to continue along with their sense of superiority. Entitled people are presenting a false state of happiness. A person (or athlete) with a true desire to improve and a high sense of self is able to look himself or herself in the mirror and recognize their faults.

If you want to stand out in today’s society, don’t be a “Jimmy.” If athletes want to stand out as elite, they must learn to recognize their own faults and improve upon them. Athletes must be able to be stand up to a challenge and stay strong in the face of adversity. Manson addresses this issue when he explains, “The more freedom we’re given to express ourselves, the more we want to be free of having to deal with anyone who may disagree with us or upset us.” 

The people (or athletes) that become exceptional at something is not because they believe they’re exceptional. They do not quit in the face of adversity. They do not blame others. They have honest, heart-to-heart talks with themselves. They become exceptional because they become obsessed with improvement – and the obsession comes from believing that they are not already great. In a sense, it is anti-entitlement.

Long story, short: people become elite because they fully understand that they are not already elite – instead they’re mediocre – and they have ample room for improvement.  

Manson, M. (2016). The subtle art of not giving a f*ck: A counterintuitive approach to living a good life. New York: Harper, an imprint of HarperCollins.