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The Call of Family

By Dan Bauer, WiPH Staff, 04/01/25, 8:00AM CDT

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Vince Lombardi made famous the priorities he expected from his teams, “God, family and the Green Bay Packers, in that order.” That was one of the tent poles of the culture he built in the sixties that produced five NFL Championships in seven years, including the first two Super Bowls.

In the early nineties I took my first head coaching job in Spooner, Wisconsin and at that time, the youth hockey association didn’t allow any games to be scheduled on Sunday morning because it interfered with church services.

Skip ahead to the present day and I might argue that Lombardi’s order has been reversed. Our sports addiction has taken priority over nearly every facet of our lives. Church, school, weddings, birthdays and our jobs take a backseat to our kids’ sporting events. We have blurred the line between our biological family and our sports families.

Wisconsin Valley Union junior, Lily Cichy was faced with a decision between her two families as her team headed into the recent WIAA playoffs. Her sister McKenna, who graduated a year ago and entered the Marine Corp, was set to graduate in California the day of WVU’s playoff game against the defending state champion Central Wisconsin Storm. Her brother, Danny, a freshman for Waupaca, was in the same playoff game predicament.

The head of the Cichy clan, Kendra and Dan, had a big family decision to ponder. “Having all three of our kids play hockey over the years, we have missed many other events and opportunities in the name of hockey,” Kendra explained. “Lily had put in effort and dedication throughout the season, but as hockey parents we know, there is a whole family sense of belonging to a team.”

But this decision felt different and wasn’t easily decided. You only graduate from the USMC once and it is a special event that encompasses three days. “There was never any question if Dan and I were going to attend,” said Kendra. “This was a once in a lifetime opportunity to support McKenna,” said Dan. “It is not something that we can do-over or recreate.”

The face-off between the biological and hockey family was real. Lily was an assistant captain and a vital part of WVU’s season and third on the team in scoring. Lily quickly realized her dilemma. “Either way I would be letting somebody down,” she said. Understanding his daughter’s dilemma, Dan scheduled a meeting with WVU head coach Rachael Graves. He wanted to be sure that Lily’s coach understood this wasn’t a decision they were taking lightly.

When Dan delivered the news that Lily would not be available for their playoff game, Graves was blindsided by the news. “I was shocked because I didn't see that coming,” said Graves. “My first thought was about the chess piece I'd be missing against the future state runner up. Lily would be a hole I couldn't fill so it was disappointing to hear that my plans would have to change. But my next thought was about Lily's relationship with her sister. Lily's vent person was gone and training to serve our country and I could tell Lily was missing that.”

“One of the worries in making a decision like this is letting your team down, letting your coach down and the backlash that we perceive may come from that,” feared Kendra. When asked about how Graves and the team took the news, Kendra simply stated, “She understood, and they understood.” Following WVU’s playoff win over Northland Pines, the team captains made sure Lily knew they had her back with hugs and a team photo together. The decision had been made and the Cichy family, all eleven of them (grandparents, aunts, cousins and a best friend) boarded a plane to California.

Graves, in her second stint as head coach, is grateful for parents like the Cichys. “Lily's parents have been nothing but the epitome of great sports parents,” she said. “They let refs- ref, coaches-coach, and just support their kids through the different battles and adversity they face. They are great people with great kids. They were both former athletes and respect the process.”

McKenna had played hockey during her sophomore year for WVU, but the time commitment of traveling in a large co-op and other interests ended her hockey career. “It was a lot with the other things I wanted to do, and I felt it would be better for my mental health not to overextend myself,” said McKenna. “It was a super hard decision cause at the end of the day I loved the sport.”

McKenna was fully aware of the investment her younger sister had in the WVU program. “Knowing how much hockey means to her and how it’s so much more than a sport and her choosing to come meant a lot,” McKenna admitted. “While I definitely would have been fine if she had chosen to go to playoffs, when I got her letter that it got moved up so it would interfere with my graduation my heart sank a little. But it made it that much better when she was there.”

The Cichy entourage could not have been more impressed with the itinerary of the Marine Corps graduation.   “You get the opportunity to have a meet and greet with the drill instructor who have just transformed your loved one over the last thirteen weeks and dinner with your new Marine for the first time,” said Kendra. “The day before graduation is family day. You are able to watch the final bootcamp motivational run, attend a presentation in the theatre about all things from bootcamp to the next steps of training and then you get to spend the afternoon with your new Marine on base. Graduation day itself starts with the opportunity to watch the Marine Corps band and presentation of the morning colors (raising of the flags) followed by the graduation itself. It was awe inspiring.”

McKenna has since returned to San Diego to heal an injury she sustained in boot camp. When healed she will report to Camp Pendleton for a month of military combat training before beginning training for various air crew jobs. Ultimately the Marines will decide which job they will place her in.  

On the night of the playoff game with the Storm, the family streamed the game to the house they rented in California. While not there in person, Lily and the family still watched as unfortunately the WVU season ended at the hands of the Storm. It may have been a 4-0 loss on the scoreboard, but it was a win for the Cichy family and the WVU family who may not wear the “Sisterhood” on their jerseys anymore but truly demonstrated the loyalty of sisters and family.   

Everything about this story pulled me into it. The absolute right decision by the Cichy family and the process to reach that decision. A team and a coach that supported their teammate and understood it was the right thing for her to do. I fear that as a younger coach I would have been disappointed with a player making the same decision. And I thank God and my family for helping me mature beyond that skewed thinking. I would like to believe that an important family event like this would always come before an athletic contest, but I know for fact that is not the case anymore. During an epidemic period of irrational behaviors in high school sports, this is a feel-good story that reinforces my belief that there are great parents, players and coaches still out there.

And that the Call of Family still matters. Vince would have approved.

 

 

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Dan Bauer is a free-lance writer, retired teacher & hockey coach in Wausau, WI. You can contact him at drbauer13@gmail.com.

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